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How to get past the bouncer to the club called The Brain

November 11, 2022

And that’s when I got the bouncer gently whoop my ass to oblivion.

My fault entirely, I admit.

It was just another day at work trying to convince someone (emphasis on the word trying) that my way of doing things would actually solve their biggest problems and make their goals possible to reach. 

I was being in a hurry, shoe laces open, keys swinging behind me from a 2 feet long silver keychain and I didn’t take my time and care to get my ducks in a row.

In the heat of the moment, I had forgotten all my other options for getting into this private club they call The Brain. 

I know what you’re thinking and no, I didn’t try to get through the back door. I also didn’t use any sweet talking or bribes, and I even forgot my credentials.

Dumbass, right?

You see there’s always a gatekeeper standing in front of you and the door to your compadres party.

And sometimes there’s not just one guard, but a whole goddamn National Guard protecting the entrance. 

Some people are like that. They got their fences up all the time like everyone’s there trying to get them. 

And you can’t blame them. 

Maybe they went through some tough times, got hurt in the process, and drew up the conclusion that everyone’s out there to nail their ass.

I wasn’t. 

I was asked to deliver a vital piece to the party. 

The music.

Can’t have the best party of the year without music. 

And the snacks. 

And booze if you’re into that kinda stuff.

If you’re a stranger trying to walk through someone’s front gate with no credentials and not even ringing the doorbell, you’re going to get shut down before you know it. 

Guaranteed. 

You got to introduce your business, and the problems you solve (which your compadre has) and tell them the benefits (ones they appreciate) your idea offers.

Then you got to prove it because you could be anyone just trying to get into this party uninvited.

Whip out your wallet, and show your credentials and your track record so they know you got the chops.

Maybe even your student card from back in the day that shows them you want to Harward or some other respected school.

Then you got to prove that your solution to their problem is not just your opinion but it’s a proven fact. Like with a scientific study. 

You build up your case one piece of evidence after another.

Then you show them other people’s opinions of your product. Ones that the brain you’re trying to get into respects, cares for and has already built trust with.

You’re on the home stretch now. The bouncer behind you and your eyes basking in the neon lights coming out of the partyeeee.

You step over the doorsill and you’re in.

But let’s remember that you’re now inside someone’s private property. 

You got to be respectful. 

Take off your shoes. Be polite. No funny business.

And most of all make sure the idea you want to sell to them serves their needs, wants, and desires and actually solves their problem. 

Then one last thing.

You ask them. “What do you think, will this music work for your party?” And then you shut up and let do the talking.

Don’t forget to thank the bouncer on your way out.

Alright, that’s it, folks. 

Until next time.

A black and white photo of the author Jussi's smiling face with shortcut hair and a short beard
plenty more loot in the vault

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